Archive for January, 2014

Bummed out

January 28, 2014

A Sunday school teacher was trying to teach her students about the Good Samaritan. She asked 10-year-old Suzy, “Let’s say you were passing a vacant lot, and you saw a homeless man laying on the ground, dressed in rags, who had just been beaten up – he was covered in blood and his own vomit. What would you do?”
Little Suzy answered, “I’d throw up!”

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Foot-ball

January 20, 2014

First joke of 2018: In the jungle, the big animals were playing a football game against the small animals. The big animals were destroying the other team, leading 28-0 at halftime. At the start of the 3rd quarter, the hippo got the football, but was tackled for a loss. “Who did that?,” asked the coach of the small animals team. “I did,” replied the centipede. The next play, the lion, playing quarterback, got sacked by the centipede, causing him to fumble the football. The centipede picked up the loose ball, and ran it back for a touchdown. After the centipede intercepted a pass and scored another touchdown for the small animals’ team, their coach asked the centipede, “You’re playing great, but where were you during the first half?” The centipede answered, “I was tying my shoes!”