Archive for December, 2013

An oldie but a Godly

December 21, 2013

A tourist at the Vatican saw a special golden phone that had a sign describing it as a direct line to G-d. It cost $10,000 per call, which was beyond his budget. The following year he visited Jerusalem and saw a similar phone, except the cost was only 50 cents. He asked the tour guide why the charge was so much lower in Jerusalem. The tour guide explained, “Here, it’s a local call.”

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Having presents of mind

December 18, 2013

I was going to buy my wife a Duck Dynasty Chia Pet for Christmas, but I was worried if I did that, I wouldn’t have anything to give her for Valentine’s Day.

A prayfall man

December 7, 2013

An atheist accidentally fell off a 2000 foot high cliff. About halfway down, he managed to catch himself on a modest branch that was growing out of the rock face. The atheist knew he couldn’t hold on for long, so, figuring he had nothing to lose, he looked up at the sky and yelled, “Is there anybody up there?”
A powerful voice answered, “Yes. I am G-d. I am here!”
The atheist pleaded, “I know I’ve never believed in you, but can you save me?”
G-d answered, “Yes, but there is one condition. You must let go of the branch, and I will catch you!”
The atheist looked down at the remaining 1000 foot drop. He thought for a moment. Then he looked back up at the sky and shouted, “Is there anybody else up there?”