Pain in the assassin

Whatever happened to Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme? She was the follower of Charles Manson who, in 1975, tried to assassinate President Ford. Reportedly, she pointed her gun right at the president, but the Secret Service grabbed the gun and it never fired. Later it was found that the gun had no bullet in the chamber, although it had a full clip. Why am I bringing all this up? It occurred to me that, if Squeaky Fromme had succeeded in assassinating President Ford, this would’ve been something the Secret Service never could’ve lived down. Just imagine the digs: “You mean to tell us you couldn’t stop a woman named “Squeaky” from killing the President of the United States? Her name was ‘Squeaky;’ couldn’t you at least hear her coming?” Personally, I think she needed that nickname, in order to keep with the tradition that assassins always go by 3 names: Lee Harvey Oswald, George Wilkes Booth, James Earl Ray. About the only exception was Sirhan Sirhan, who was actually “Sirhan Bishara Sirhan,” but maybe “Bishara” was too hard to remember. “Sirhan” wasn’t that easy either, but at least if you memorized his first name, you also had his last name.

(With thanks to Jay Passannante)

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