Archive for November, 2011

Inter views

November 22, 2011

A company was interviewing job candidates. The human resources guy asked the first interviewee why he thought he was qualified for a job at the company. The interviewee said, “Well, I have great powers of observation. For instance, I notice you have really tiny ears!”
The HR guy raged, “How dare you insult me! Get out!”
The next applicant came in, and the HR guy asked him, “How are YOUR powers of observation?”
The applicant said, “I can see you wear contact lenses.”
The HR guy said, “That’s right! I can’t believe you could notice a small detail like that! How did you figure that out?”
The applicant explained, “Well, your ears are way too tiny to hold up eye glasses.”

Wired for sound

November 21, 2011

An old man couldn’t afford a hearing aid, so he wrapped a wire around his ear. His friend shouted, “That wire’s not going to do you any good!”
The old man replied, “It made you talk louder, didn’t it?”

Blastphemy

November 5, 2011

There was a mosque located right next door to a church. They happened to have simultaneous services one day, and the Muslims could hear the Catholics singing some hymn. Not to be outdone, the Muslims starting praying louder. The Catholics heard this, and upped their volume. This went tit for tat a few times, until the two houses of worship were deafening. Suddenly, there was a clap of thunder and a heavenly voice declared, “Hey, would you keep it down? I can’t hear a word the Jews are saying!”