Archive for August, 2011

“Youth is wasted on the young” Mark Twain

August 30, 2011

A young woman married a much older man. Concerned about his lovemaking abilities, she acquired some experimental pills that were supposed to restore youth. Although the recommended dosage was 2 pills per day, she ground up 8 of them and slipped the medicine into his dinner. Before they could fool around that night, he fell into a deep slumber. In the morning, he woke up, seeming quite energetic. Excitedly, the young wife murmured, “Come back to bed for awhile.”
Her husband answered, “I can’t – I’ll be late for school!”

Worth the weight

August 28, 2011

A very obese woman got on a scale at a Walmart. Because the scale was broken, it showed her weight as 112. A boy who was watching remarked, “Gee, Lady – you’re hollow!”

The objection of my desire

August 11, 2011

Women confuse me. Just the other day, my wife got mad at me for complimenting her! All I said was, “I want to have sex tonight – preferably with you.”

Aisle see you soon

August 1, 2011

An elderly Jewish woman met a similarly aged man at a senior dance. She remarked, “You remind me of my 4th husband.”
He asked, “How many times have you been married?”
She answered, “Three.”