The drinks are on me

A bar patron asked the bartender, “Are you a betting man?”
“Why, do you have a bet?”
The customer responded, “I’ll bet you $100 that I can lick my right eye.”
The bartender knew this was impossible, so he accepted the bet. The customer popped out a glass eye, licked it, and reinserted it. Even though it was a bit of a trick, a bet’s a bet, so the bartender reluctantly paid up.
The customer said, “I’ll bet you another $100 that I can bite my left eye!”
“Do you have two glass eyes?”
“Then you’re on!”
The customer pulled out his dentures and bit his left eye. The bartender said, “Here’s your money. Now get away from me!”
The customer spent a few minutes down at the other end of the bar, but soon returned. “I’m really sorry I took your $200, so I’m going to give you a surefire way to not only win it back, but double your money. I’ll give you two to one odds on a $200 bet that I can take this beer mug, place it on your head, stand 5 feet away, piss in the beer mug, and I won’t miss even one drop.”
Now the bartender was going nuts, trying to figure an angle or tricky wording. He reviewed the bet, “Let me get this straight… if you don’t get every drop of urine into the beer mug, I win $400?”
“And you’ve got to stand way over there?”
“Pal, you got a bet, and this time you’re going down!”
So the customer placed the beer mug on the bartender’s head, balanced just so, stood 5 feet away, and pulled down his zipper. “Ready?”
“I’m ready to win $400,” the bartender replied.
The customer started to pee, about 5 beers worth. Some of it miraculously made it into the beer mug, but most of it missed, spraying the bartender’s hair, face and chest. The bartender shouted exhuberantly, “I win, I win! At last I beat you, you bastard!”
The customer zipped up, said, “Yep, you won fair and square,” and cheerfully paid the $400.
The bartender, much happier now than he was 5 minutes earlier, said, “I’ve got to hand it to you. You’re a really good sport. When I lost $200, I was ready to take your head off. Here you lose $400, and you pay off without a complaint. What a good sport!”
The customer responded, “Thanks for the compliment, but it’s not that I’m such a good sport. You see, I just bet the other bartender $1000 that I could piss in your face and you’d love every minute of it!”


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